Nobody Has the Credentials to Tell You “You Can’t”

through-a-wall

It Starts with Rejection.

Rejection. We’ve all had our fair share, right?

Being in the business of entertainment; being a comedian a writer, an actor, exposes you to more than your fair share, I believe.

Some of us are more affected by rejection than others. We take rejection as ostracism and we can do damage to ourselves and our careers if we take it too deeply to heart. I don’t know about you but I know some people who have given up after too much rejection.

The problem is sometimes too much is only once.

But the good news is I think we can learn to smash through rejection and overcome it.

In order to help overcome rejection, it would first help to have a handle on what it is so that it doesn’t seem so ominous and out of our ability to control it.

Understanding the Science of Rejection

Psychologists say that the fear of rejection is hard-wired into our brains and was established as some sort of survival mechanism.

Not to dwell too much on the primaeval science of rejection and the fear of it but for the sake of understanding and overcoming it, here it goes:

Back in the day when we were hunter-gatherers, we relied on tribes to survive. If you were rejected by the tribe it meant ostracism, which meant you would lose access to the fire, the food, etc. Which would lead to your ultimate demise.

Therefore the rejection mechanism is sort of an “early warning system” according to Psychologist and author, Guy Winch, Ph.D. When our behavior might get us ostracised we feel rejection and that feeling is supposed to trigger us to change our behavior so we stop being rejected.

To top it all off we humans are social animals, so the rejection can really be harmful. So much so Winch has actually labeled rejection as a psychological “injury.”

He’s not too far off considering that rejection affects the same brain regions and neurotransmitters as does physical pain. Which explains why during a break up you can actually feel physically ill, get a headache, collapse.

Also during rejection, our brain produces natural painkillers; Opioids, that can help us cope with the pain and continue on… or like me, make me sleep.

How Not to Let Rejection Get the Best of You

I was fortunate to have very supportive parents. They encouraged me to get up and face the day, despite rejection. I grew up in an actors’ family and got to see my Dad go to auditions, not get the part and not let it affect his tenacity, and belief in himself. I was able to witness him bounce back the very next day and book two out of three auditions.

So when it came time for me to audition, I didn’t allow the rejection part of it to knock my self-worth. And without conjuring up visuals of Al Franken’s Stuart Smalley and “Affirmations,” the popular sketch on Saturday Night Live back in the day, I would tell myself that I’m good enough and that the reason I didn’t get the part is not that I couldn’t act, but because I just wasn’t the right match.

Psychologists have a similar approach. They say you can prepare for rejection better by identifying the qualities you believe you bring into this world. Write them down.

Hell, write them down several times! Own them and know them. That way when you do receive some rejection, you can walk away from it a little stung, but with your head held high, ready to tackle the next challenge.

You should really take a moment–right now– and write down five to ten values you bring to this world! No really. Right now!

When it comes to rejection, I like to simply say to myself, “No is not an answer and it’s unacceptable.” Of course this is when dealing with the industry of show business, (getting a script approved or getting an audition), and not when I’m with a woman trying to get to third base!  And why am I still trying to get to third base with my wife? When you’re married, isn’t third base where you start?

But wait, we were being serious in this blog post, Dude!

You are ‘Perfect’

I think psychologists have a point when they say you should write down your valuable traits. I believe it’s something that will help you deal with rejection.

I tell my students and myself that they are ‘perfect.’ I’ve said it so much to myself that I inherently believe it.

Now before you get weird on me on that, let me explain…

What I say is, you must believe you are perfect in all your flaws. I encourage my students to own that of themselves.

I honestly believe that about myself and I have a ton of baggage. There are stores in the mall that wish they had as much Samsonite as I do. I have skeletons and massive failures. But I believe that has made me who I am and I’m pretty freakin’ happy with that because I am constantly trying to learn from my mistakes, sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t.

But that’s okay, because if I take the time to assess and evaluate, I can probably learn.

Your biggest mistakes are your greatest lessons. So when you do screw up and you do fail and you are rejected, you learn valuable lessons and if you walk away from that rejection focusing on what you learned rather than focusing on the rejection and self-talking yourself into depression, you’ll do much better with rejection and succeed more often.

Yes, focus on what you learned, move on, continue believing in yourself. Psychologist have determined that rejection is real. It exists, but how deeply we let it affect us is up to us.

We Can Cower or We Can Conquer.

The reason I wrote this blog post is that I’ve seen people–friends of mine–give up their dreams because they were rejected… even once. Then when they hit middle age, they shoulder this huge burden of regret.

When I first auditioned for the Improv, I was rejected three times by co-owner Mark Lonow. If I let that rejection get me down I might never have continued. But on my third rejection from Lonow, I looked him in the eye and said, “You’re not the only way into the Improv, Mark.”

I don’t recommend ever saying that, by the way! I did it because I was hurt (one of the side effects of rejection) and I stupidly lashed out.

But the very next day, I went into the Improv, waited three and a half hours to see Bud Friedman. When I finally saw him, I introduced myself and begged him to let me audition for him.

He said, “Come down tonight and do twelve minutes.”

I thanked him and came back that night with my twelve.

When I was up on stage, after six minutes, out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bud Friedman walk out of the showroom.

My heart sank.

When I finished my act, audience members high-fived me. I heard compliments. I was confused. Why did Bud walk out of the room?

I went up to the bar and waited for Bud. When he finally showed up, these are his exact words: “Very nice set, Mr. Corley. I tell you what we’re going to do. We’re going to start you in Vegas and go from there… Oh, and I want you to do the show.”

“What show is that, Bud?”
“A&E’s ‘An Evening at the Improv,’ of course.”
“Of course.”

On the night of the taping of the show, I was in makeup sitting in a chair right next to Bud… as I looked into the mirror, creeping up to me was Mark Lonow, the co-owner, who rejected me three times before.

He leaned into my ear and said in this disdain-filled voice, “How’d you slip through the cracks?”

Bud Friedman looked at him in the mirror and said, “Mark, the last time I checked, my name is first on the Marquis.”

I did the show that night and had a really solid set and after that set, my first T.V. set, my career changed. I haven’t stopped working since.

I share this with you because rejection is a part of this business. We must learn to cope with it and not let it get us down.

And just like the picture way up at the beginning of this post, when we encounter the obstacle of rejection when can either give up, go around or break right through.

There are few things I love more than this business. One of those things is the artists who journey through it. If this blog post gave you some inspiration, drop me a comment. I would love to hear your thoughts and your obstacles and how you overcame them.

I would also like to share with you the article that inspired this post. It is a post that shows original rejection letters to famous people. The post is very appropriately titled:

“10 Painful Rejection Letters To Famous People Proving You Should NEVER Give Up Your Dreams”

it’s by Averi Clements at Distractify.com.

I hope it inspires. Go get ‘em!

Comedy Clinic Student Books First SAG Commercial

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Gotta share this with you!

One of the reasons I so enjoy teaching comedy is to be able to share in the joy of the success of  my students.

We’ve had some good success in with the students in our classes.

There have been industrials for Kaiser, agency signings, comedy competition winners, a student getting a Showtime comedy special, one student recently getting on Comedy Central, a student booking 3 pilots after having a 2-year dry spell…

nicola-singer

Click the pic to say Hello to Nicole on Twitter!

And now Nicola Singer booking a Downy commercial, (her first SAG commercial)… after a 3-year drought of no bookings.

As a stand up comedian who started as a theater-trained actor, I constantly talk about the benefits of stand up and how it can help you in your acting by forcing you to learn to be courageous and stay present and in the moment.

Stand up also helps you to learn the science behind comedic timing and how and why something serious can be turned into something funny.

When a student books a job in the entertainment field and they feel that the class had something to do with it, it warms my heart.

So I want to share the email that Nicola sent to me after she saw the commercial for the first time.

See if it doesn’t bring you some warm fuzzies too!

[gn_quote style=”1″]Hey Jerry, I would like to share this story with you. :-) I booked a Downy commercial a cpl wks back and I just saw it last night/posted it to Facebook today.

If you havent seen it, please take a peek at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciDgUwAg6IY&list=FL4Ymhb9PqMr7y18gh4q8UyA&feature=mh_lolz

This was a comedically heavy role and I feel that standup helped me book it. On the callback, they had us be loose with physical comedy, which I’m fine with, but stand up came into the picture big time when I actually GOT LAUGHS at the callback. All i could think of is, “Really? Wow! Easy crowd.” :-) compared to standing up, everything else seems easy.

Unfortunately it is an Internet only project (not a national commercial so it shouldn’t pay a lot, but its my first SAG commercial!!!), and after a 3 year dry spell of not booking, it feels fantastic to have broken my curse!!! I owe the stand up comedy clinic BiG TIME so please feel free to use it for your marketing purposes if you so desire.

Once again, thank you Jerry Corley for always sharing the love and changing lives!!!

Much love and appreciation, Nicole [/gn_quote]

Congratulations Nicole! and much love and appreciation back! You rock!

 

 

 

Comedy Class Student Lands Comedy Central Gig

2005-08-17 16.21.29One of the goals of a young comedian is to land a gig on Comedy Central, but what happens when you’re far past your twenties?

Do the goals change? In a word, No.

Comedy Clinic student Esther Hersh is a perfect example. When she arrived in comedy class a few weeks ago, instead of running her set, she wanted to rehearse a piece for The Ben Show she was auditioning for the next day on Comedy Central.

She was auditioning for the role of “Gangsta Granny” in a sketch.

We spent about twenty minutes helping her get comfortable with the language of the piece. Even though Esther is referred to as the “Sassy Senior,” it’s no easy task getting a Jewish Senior Citizen from Studio City comfortable with saying “M-F-er!”

And that was her opening line!

We told her that 90-percent of communication in this type of presentation is attitude, emotion and tone of voice and only 10-percent is the words, so she drove the words with a Gangsta attitude.

And just after a couple tries, Esther was pouring out lines that sounded more like a piece from a Richard Pryor routine.

Set that against the fact that she’s all of 5-feet, two inches and holding an AK-47 and you have blaring INCONGRUITY staring you in the face.

Pure comedy formula.

Needless to say Esther booked the job! She’ll be airing on Comedy Central on the premiere episode of The Ben Show starring Ben Hoffman this Thursday, February 28th on Comedy Central.  Check it out!

Way to go, Esther!!!

That kind of success, just makes me want to say “M-F-er!”

Promoting Your Video via Email

Want to email your video to bookers, managers or agents? Here’s a quick tutorial.
So you have your video done and you want people to see it. You put it up on YouTube, but now what? I’ve been getting a lot of questions about how one goes about getting the video out there, so I put a quick tutorial together on how to email your YouTube video. I hope you find this useful!

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How To Be A Famous Comedian | Get an Audition

 

What’s this video have to do with getting an audition or an agent as a comedian or actor? Good question! The answer is simple: Many actors and comedians don’t get work because they give up trying way too soon. If they are lucky enough to get a booker or an agent on the phone, they get one “NO!” and they give up.

You Need Persistence

A comedian or actor—whether you’re trying to get representation from an agent, get seen by a casting director or get get booked by a club booker, needs persistence, “polite” persistence. We hear someone say “no,” or at best nobody returns our calls or emails and we give up. We get that familiar lump in the pit of our stomachs, that feeling of rejection and we stop calling. Most of us don’t like that feeling, because…well, it doesn’t feel good! So we give up. I mean why revisit that feeling right?

Well you have to keep calling and keeping in touch because it’s your job. Many times, even after you meet an agent or casting director and they see that you are good, they simply forget who you are. It’s a simple as that. They are not attacking you personally they just don’t think about you, because they are incapable…because few humans have the capacity to truly multi-task.

Take an actress for example. My student Kim Hopkins is a fine actress. She attends casting workshops and consistently gets the highest ratings in her reviews from casting directors. They literally gush over her. A manager she’s been trying to get to represent her can’t understand why she’s not getting called in.

“Why aren’t they calling you in for these auditions?”

It all comes down to multi-tasking.

Although our brains are bad with multi-tasking, they are excellent with focusing on one task at a time. So when Kim does the workshop, the casting director may love her and think she’s the bee’s knees. But when that casting director goes back to work and has a thousand submissions for a job Kim might be perfect for, Kim is not even close to being in their thoughts, simply because it’s impossible! The brain doesn’t operate that way.

This is Where The Manager Comes In

If the manager was doing their job, they would give a call to the casting director and remind them that Kim was in their workshop. That simple reminder that operates what’s known as bottom-up brain function (something that gets our attention like a phone ringing), could be the trick to getting Kim into the brain of the casting director. Does that make sense?

If I was a manager and I knew an actress was going to the workshops and getting great reviews with casting directors that were consistently working, I would represent that actress in a flash, because she just made my job a thousand times easier! All I have to do is submit, then make a phone call to remind the casting director about the actress.

How Does This Affect You As a Comedian or Actor?

So how does this affect you as a comedian or actor? Well, you have to keep calling every three weeks or so. Keep them posted on what you’re doing via Facebook, your website, twitter. Visit them often at casting workshops. Drop by a club to do a guest set. Make sure you keep reminding them who your are, stay polite and persistent, and never let the lack of return phone calls get you down. It’s nothing personal, they just can’t multi-task.