Got Haters? Stay True, Practice and Turn it Into Opportunity

bullying in school

I have a student who emailed me recently about people hating on him.

He’s a little awkward on stage. He’s working on it, but he comes across as the guy next door or maybe the ‘creepy’ guy next door.

I see a lot of promise in him. He reminds me of Comedian George Miller; Miller was awkward, always wore sweaters. Made 56 appearances on Late Night with David Letterman.

comedian george miller

My student lives in a small town in Canada, doesn’t have a lot of friends, but works hard on his writing. Problem is, when you live in a small town, it’s hard to get stage time.

But he keeps at it.

He’s got a lot of the locals including the local club owner who constantly berate him. They put him down, they tease, they pick.

He said, “Jerry, you’ve got to help me. I just have these guys totally hating on me all the time. What do I do?”

Stay true. Keep working. Keep practicing. Beat them to the punch.

The Bullies Made me Do It!

I despise bullies. I was bullied as a kid. I remember one of the bullies getting me in a headlock on the school bus in New York and just punching away at my head while other students just sat there watching. (Maybe that explains why I’m so weird!).

That wasn’t the only time I was bullied, but that’s the one that really stands out, because one of the people standing there watching was my older brother.

We were raised in a loving compassionate family. Not a fighting family. We didn’t know how to fight. So I don’t blame my brother. He didn’t have a skill set to know how to deal with that situation.

I can zero back on that moment on the bus with laser beam focus. That’s why I despise bullies.

But…

I often wonder if I would’ve ever become a comedian if it wasn’t for those bullying moments. I often think that’s why learned to joke and to beat the jerks to the punch with humor.

It’s Impossible to Dislike Someone Who Makes You Laugh

There’s an old saying, “It’s impossible to dislike someone who makes you laugh.”

By the 8th grade, I was getting funny. I learned from another kid in my class, Andrew Madejczyk. (pronounced Majezick).

Andy was fast on the draw. He mostly did wordplay stuff but was always getting laughs in class.

I realized that I was usually thinking the same thing he was, but I just didn’t say it out loud.

I always thought it was so funny that a word that was intended to mean one thing could so easily mean another thing.

That’s when I understood the 9th Laughter Trigger; coincidence. We laugh at coincidence. We love it!

I realized that nobody was getting Andy in headlocks and punching him on the bus… well, mostly because he didn’t take the bus, but he wasn’t really ever bullied.

Probably because he was always making them laugh.

I thought, I need to get funnier before someone headlocks me again.

My parents had a lot of comedy albums at home. George Carlin, Richard Pryor, mostly. My neighbors had Bill Cosby. Their parents didn’t let them listen to Carlin and Pryor because they weren’t appropriate and Bill Cosby was.

–Who’s appropriate now, bitches?!

I memorized George Carlin albums. I realized that when Carlin repeated slogans from commercials that people identified with, the audience laughed.

That’s the 3rd laughter trigger; recognition.

I was beginning to understand. Now if I can only use it to get a laugh…

“Hey Jerry! What’s the Story?”

I used to get teased at school just because of my name. There was a commercial that ran on the local TV stations. It was for an appliance club store called JGE Appliances.

The commercial would feature this blue collar type guy standing in front of a wall with a sign that simply said “JGE.” He was wearing a t-shirt, jeans and a hard hat.

Someone from offstage would shout, “Hey Jerry. What’s the story?”

Then in a Brooklyn accent, the hard hat guy would say, “The story is you come to JGE with the right make or model unit number you wanna buy. Show your union or civil service card at the door and you’re in, because JGE is not open to the general public. Only Union members and their families.”

Offstage Voice: “So that’s the story?”

Then he would shout: “That’s the stoooorryyyy!” He’d lean back with his arms wide and his t-shirt would rise up revealing his bare stomach.

That was the commercial.

Nobody Can Make you Feel Inferior Unless You Give Them Permission

The thing is; my name is Jerry.

At least 3 or 4 times a day, people at school would shout out, “Hey Jerry! What’s the story?”

I used to really annoy me. I hated it! It would make me feel stupid and awkward, especially when people would laugh. I felt like they were laughing at me.

My Mother said to me, “Nobody can make you feel inferior unless you give them permission.”

What could I do that wouldn’t make me feel inferior?

I did what Carlin did. I memorized the commercial. I thought if they laugh when Carlin repeats a commercials slogan, maybe they’ll laugh when I repeat the commercial too.

I practiced the commercial at home made sure I had it down. I went back to school the next day and while walking in the hall someone yelled, “Hey Jerry, what’s the story?”

In my best Brooklyn accent, I let it rip. I said, “The story is you come to JGE with the right Make or Model unit number you wanna buy, show your union or civil service card at the door and you’re in! Cuz’ JGE is not open to the general public, only to union members and their families…”

I waited.

Several people shouted in a sorry demonstration of unison: “So that’s the story?”

I said, ‘Dat’s the stooooorryyyy!!!” I raised up my shirt and showed my belly.

It got huge laughs… and you know what?

It no longer bothered me that people shouted “Hey Jerry, what’s the story?!”

I looked forward to it and I haven’t had my head in a headlock ever since.

There are always going to be haters…

Stay true, keep writing, keep practicing and beat them to the punch.

The Perfect Opportunity

east side comedy

My family moved out of New York when I was 13. Years later I went back to get into stand-up. The first club I auditioned at was East Side Comedy in Huntington, Long Island.

The club owner, Richie Minervini, was also the emcee. He said to me, “What do you want me to say about you?”

I said, “Just say, ‘This next guy is from California and his name is Jerry.'”

He said, “That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

Minervini brought me up. “This next guy is from California. His name is Jerry.”

I took the mic and said, “My name is Jerry.”

Some guy in the crowd said, “Hey Jerry! What’s the story?”

The crowd laughed.

I did my thing… they laughed again…

… and for the rest of the night.

Thank you, bullies!

14 Reasons Stand Up Comedy is Great For Actors

pat corley as phil on Murphy Brown

Pat Corley “Phil” on Murphy Brown

I grew up in an acting family. My mother and father were actors. My father was a successful character actor.

I studied at the Actor’s Studio in New York and Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute here in L.A.

But it all really came together when I started doing stand up. I just took a comedy class and developed an act. That is when I learned that stand up comedy is great for actors!

Stand up gave me an opportunity to be creative and develop content in between acting gigs. Stand up gave me the opportunity to play in front of 5 people to 15,000 people.

It gave me a chance to find my own voice, to be ‘real, present and in the moment’ on stage.

In acting, that is huge, for more reasons than just one. I put together fourteen.

If you’re having a dry spell in your acting, here are 14 reasons Stand Up Comedy is great for actors and a terrific addition to your skill set.

 

1. Casting Courage

You can learn to master playing in front of just a few people, which is very similar to a casting situation.

2. You learn to ad-lib:

Improv skills are one thing. Being able to ad-lib on the subject matter in a split-second is something you learn in stand-up.

3. Storytelling:

You learn not only how to tell stories that are funny, you learn interpret the humor in scripts and how to play comedy successfully by playing against the comedy. Mediocre comedians play the comedy. Great comedians play the situation.


After performing stand up, Performing in an audition situation was a piece of cake. I mean what could these people ever say to hurt my feelings that some drunk in the city hasn’t already said?



Ray Romano, Star of "Everybody Loves Raymond"

4. It’s a brilliant way to showcase.

Casting directors and directors are coming to comedy showcases more than ever. Casting directors, agents and managers are always looking for new talent. The problem is their time is very limited. They would rather come out to watch your 6-10 minute showcase than come out an watch a 2-hour play. It’s simple time management.

5. It demonstrates courage.

Most of the people you are trying to impress in the industry are in awe of artists who have the courage to do stand up. My friend met Robert Redford recently. Redford said, “I’m in awe of comedians. Doing stand up scares the hell out of me.”

6. The one-man/one-woman show

– your ticket to notoriety.

7. Work When You’re Not Working

When you’re a working comic and also an actor, you can work when you’re not “working.” Meaning, you can get gigs as a comedian and pay the bills performing when you don’t have an acting gig.

8. Funny is “Smart”

When people think you’re funny, they also think you’re smart. Funny is memorable. People like to be around people who make them laugh. If two actors are up for a job and the CD or the Director just saw you perform at a comedy club and you made them laugh, who is that CD most likely to choose?

9. You learn to be you

In 99 percent of all casting situations the casting director asks the actor to “just be yourself.” You’d be amazed at how many actors freeze. Actors spend so much time in training learning to develop characters that they forget how to be themselves. Stand up comedy gives you that ability.

10. Learn to NAIL AUDITIONS

Nothing develops unbreakable confidence onstage than performing stand up on a regular basis. “You develop a thick skin, ” says actor Ray Romano. “After performing stand up, Performing in an audition situation was a piece of cake. I mean what could these people ever say to hurt my feelings that some drunk in the city hasn’t already said?” One of the best ways to develop unbreakable confidence on stage is by doing stand up on a regular basis.

11. Memorability

– Whether it’s an audition or a comedy competition, one of the primary qualities that get you moving to the next level (the quarter or semi-final rounds in competitions, call-backs with producers, network or studio with acting), so if you go into an audition and you’re funny, you become memorable.

13. “It’s Impossible to Dislike Someone Who Makes You Laugh

This is one of my absolute favorites. I’ve used this in commercials, sitcoms & episodics. For someone to laugh with you they have to temporarily give themselves over to you. And when you make someone laugh, they like you. In the run of actors coming into the room to read, if you’re the one that leaves them in stitches… they will want to see you again!

14. 60-Percent of Breakdowns are for ‘Comedic Character’

– If you’re not studying comedy, you’re losing out on 60-percent of the acting opportunities currently being cast.

15. Stand-Up Comedy Shows Them a Different Side of You

– Every agent I’ve met looks at my resume and says, “Oh! You do stand-up?!” When it comes to ‘special skills’ stand-up can be one of your best assets!

Take Your Acting to the Next Level

So what are you waiting for? Take a class and in 8 weeks you’ll have a comedy routine you can perform, that will be video taped and you’ll be proud to showcase.

Voice Typing: Google Docs Secrets to Improve Your Writing Efficiency

google-docs-tutorial-still
Have you ever lost a writing document on your computer after spending hours revising it? You look and look and for the life of you, you cannot find that document!

Few things are more frustrating, except…

Losing years worth of writing documents when a hard drive crashes.

Or have you ever been out and about and a friend calls and needs a copy of a revision of a document? Or a spreadsheet or a presentation? And you wind up saying something like, “I’ll get it out to you as soon as I get back to my computer…”

Or have you ever wanted to collaborate on writing with someone and you get confused about sending each other drafts of each other’s work and you get confused about which draft you’re on or who wrote what?

Or finally… do you hate typing? Do you wish there was a way you could talk and your own personal stenographer would record it and type up all the pages and send them to you?

Well, what if I told you that I have a tool that will solve all those problems. Better yet, what if I told you that the solution was 100% free?

That’s the subject of the video I have for you today. It’s 7-minutes. It will help you see how you can use this very tool and it’s right under your nose every day.

This tool will help you totally improve your writing efficiency, get more efficient, never lose documents and collaborate with anyone in real time. I think you’ll dig it! Check out the video below, then leave me a comment and tell me how you think it might help you be more efficient with your writing!

Stop Thinking Like an Employee

assembly-lineOne of my comedian friends was recently brutally upset by the fact that he had to pay an admission fee to a comedy competition to be considered for it. He failed get into one of the regional prelim competitions so he was told by the organizer that he needed to resubmit in order to be considered for other regional prelims.

He was very upset by this and felt unsatisfied when he vented his frustration to the organizer who runs the festival, so he went public. He vented his frustration on Facebook and Twitter, “exposing” the principal of this festival. In addition, he made various personal accusations and assumptions about the organizer with other comedians in the thread, slinging insults about not only how unprofessional the guy was but also about his clothing and spelling.

WTF?!

The irony being that if you’re accusing someone of being unprofessional while slinging insults about a person’s spelling, clothing, financial situation or other personal attacks, YOU are the one who is being unprofessional.

Pretty ugly.

It all boiled down to one thing. The comedian who was upset spent “seventy dollars” to not even be considered for the competition.

All around; very frustrating. I get it.

This comedian is not alone in his complaint. There are a ton of other comedians who are upset by the results of competitions and the expenditure of real dollars to get into these competitions or to go out on the road, etc.

Let me try to sort some of it out…

This is show-business. Show business is two words, there’s the “show” and there’s the “business.” This business is no different than any other business in that you have to spend money to make money. You have to speculate to accumulate. Sometimes you have to raise the money to be able to invest it in your business. How you raise the money is up to you. But spending money on an administrative fee for a competition is a necessary cost of doing business.

It’s hard for creative people to deal with that, but…

That’s the way it goes.

I remember, a number of years ago, having to pay $25 dollars to a comedy booking company for them to take the time to look at my tape. I’m old school and didn’t believe in so-called PAY-TO-PLAY. So I bitched and moaned to my wife and my parents and any one else who would listen to me about how I thought I was getting “screwed.”

But this particular booker had 25 weeks of work on their schedule. I paid the $25 dollars, didn’t get a review in the time they allotted. I submitted again, paid another $25. Same thing. I sent a letter (remember, it was before e-mail).

They sent a letter back saying that they had so many submissions, that sometimes they just can’t get to a tape before the deadline and that I would have to submit again. I did. Another $25. I was already $75 in the hole! This time they called me and offered me a week of work as a feature act. I thanked them for considering me and while I had them on the phone I said that I would be traveling all the way from Los Angeles to the East coast to do this gig. “Is there any way you could tack on a couple more weeks so I can better justify the cost of travel?” They did. (In business, it’s called an ‘upsell.’). While you have them saying ‘yes,’ get them to say “YES” again!

Sort of like doing your act. If they laugh at the punch line, tag it, top it and do an act-out, to get more laughs from one premise. Same concept.

They gave me 2 more weeks. While on the gig I met the headliner who taught me how to sell t-shirts. I had a great time, gave them solid shows. I showed up early, and I over delivered. I made it my goal to give them the best shows that I was capable of. Then I called their assistant, asked what kind of wine they drank and sent them a “thank-you” case of Merlot; $110. They called me, thanked me for the wine and booked be for 10 more weeks that year.

In total I spent $75 on the submission, $110 on the wine. That’s $185.

That year according to the W-9 I received from them, I made $8250.00. Not a ton of money, but remember I was working as a feature act.

Most Comedians Think Like Employees

Was it worth it for me to spend $75 for the submission, then $110 for the wine? You bet!

But most comedians don’t think this way. In fact, most comedians lack even basic business acumen. Because most comedians think like EMPLOYEES.

How many comedians know the average profit margin of the average business? How many know the definition of cost-basis? I’d bet that there’s not many. Because traditionally our experience is as an employee. Why should I have to spend money in order to get paid?

But you’re not an employee, you’re a business. So it’s time to start thinking the way businesses think. And that’s profit margin and cost-basis.

A quick “ALT-TAB” over to Yahoo Finance, will tell you that the overall average profit margin of all the industries listed is 7.8 percent. What?! 7.8 percent net profit margin?!

After investing $185 in the booker, (all tax deductible, don’t ya know), I made approximately 45 times what I spent. That, by the way, puts all industries listed on the stock exchange to shame in terms of profit.

Would I have earned that if I just bitched about it?

So suck it up, guys. You may have gotten into comedy to skirt the system or not do a nine-to-five or get out of the “rat-race,” Not participate in the business world.

But here’s the reality: You are not only in the business world. YOU are the BUSINESS!

The beauty of it is, is that the business is COMEDY! Hell yeah!

Tune in, tune up, and kick ass!

Have any ideas you can share with how you make a living? Love to hear them!

Comedian Lessons | Jokes About Death

Comedian Lesson: When I tell my students that you can write comedy about anything, I mean that. There are ways–I believe–to talk about anything using humor…
One of my students recently asked if you could write comedy material about family members dying. I said, “Yes!” In fact it’s healing and cathartic and it gives you an opportunity to do more than just jokes. It gives you an chance to be human.

Here’s a 2 minute segment of me doing a bit about my mother dying. Notice how I talk about the incident and talk around it at the same time, using elements that are a part of the story to convey the struggle of being a comedian going through sadness following the death of my mother.

The key is to just starting writing the truth and being honest. Within that you will find the turns, and begin to recognize the places where you can insert double-entendre humor, word, play, incongruity, recognition and surprise. And once you do, you will be able to write comedy, not only about death, but about anything.