Don’t Suck! The 9-minute Comedy Mastermind Session

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This could be the most important 9-minute comedy lesson of your life.

In the next 9 minutes you’re going to learn a lot! I mean a ton! I’m calling this article my 9-minute Comedy Mastermind Session.

When it comes to comedy writing and theory, my argument always focuses on structure.

“Structure is king!” I’ll usually say.

Getting to the point and getting the laugh with a strong point of view while saying something that actually means something is crucial but structure is where the laugh occurs… not just trying to be funny.

This next 9-minutes focuses on that.

Structure is really the keys to the car that drives comedy success. I’d argue that it’s not just important, it’s crucial!

Side-by-Side Comedian Comparison

In the next 9 minutes you’re going to look at two comedians.

Rob Delaney and Brian Kiley.

Delaney is your classic internet sensation comedian. His rise to notoriety came via Twitter where he had 1.26 million followers! But you’ll soon learn that Twitter comedy doesn’t necessarily interpret into stellar stand-up.

Brian Kiley is the head monologue writer for Conan O’Brien. Kiley is a master of structure and joke telling. But his joke telling style is so well finessed that it doesn’t seem like he’s us telling jokes.

Take a look at these two comedians as they appear on 2 different late night shows.
Structure vs. No structure. It’s Kiley with solid structure and Delaney with just telling a story and trying to be funny

You be the judge…

…and as always I would love to hear your comments.

Enjoy!

Rob Delaney

Let’s take a look at comedian Rob Delaney. He performed a set on Jimmy Kimmel Live. He wasn’t prepared, he lacked structure and he totally shits the bed…

Caution: You might have to will yourself to watch the entire 4.5 minutes. But it’s important that you do.

Brian Kiley

Now let’s watch 4.5 minutes of Brian Kiley. Brian is a master of joke structure. You don’t have to be like him or deliver your material in this more “joke” form, but you’ll easily see the difference between structured and unstructured material.

Conclusion

In my view, structure is king.

Brian Kiley’s set is far superior in it’s structure and it’s story-telling than Rob Delaney. In fact, rumor has it that Delaney tried to make sure that this didn’t get out. I get it.

I’m not posting this to slam Delaney as a comedian. I’ve been doing stand-up for nearly 30 years, I know how hard it is to get on T.V. So big props to him for just getting the spot. But when you get there you’ve got to have a structured set.

Your effectiveness is judged by laughs per minute. If you’re not getting laughs, the audience is tuning out.

A stand-up comedian’s time is also limited on late night TV shows. Comedian’s sets have been running around 4 minutes 30 seconds! I just watched comedian Dulce Sloan on Conan and she only had 3 minutes!

You gotta get to the jokes fast and keep them rolling! If you don’t you might wind up like Rob Delaney and totally shitting the bed.

Want to learn more about how to develop structure in your act? Take a stand-up class or get into my Weekend Comedy Writing Workshops.

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Work Smarter – Don’t be Afraid of Mistakes. Learn from Them!

 Don't be afraid of mistakes; learn from them

Are you one of those people who is afraid of mistakes? Are you afraid to put something out there—either on stage or in a meeting or even on social media—for fear that you made a mistake and someone will call you out on it, thus making you the laughing stock of the world and eternally miserable?

This happens to all of us at some level.

I remember, early in my studying, being in an acting class. I really wanted to be an actor. My father had some fame as an actor and I wanted to be an actor too. I went to the classes and when I did something “wrong,” the teacher would try to give me notes.

I would always try to interrupt with something like a “Yeah, yeah, I know I did that,” or something similar. Instead of really listening to the note based on what the teacher saw in my performance, I would jump ahead because I didn’t really want to hear that I was flawed, that I made a mistake.

Fortunately I had a father who used to coach me as well. He saw that I would try to jump in and not truly listen to the note. He would wait for me to finish my objection. Then say, “Next time I give you a critique, instead of instantly jumping in I want you to try something. I want you to think of a follow-up question, based on what I said.”

Brilliant.

This approach served two purposes. It required me wait to actually hear the note. And…
It made me have to think of a follow-up question, so I was forced to listen deeply to the note, process what it meant to me and follow up, thus cementing the learning into my brain.

So therefore, it forced me to acknowledge my mistake, learn from it and figure out how to apply the mistake as a lesson, NOT as a mistake.

Does this make sense?

When we make mistakes and learn from them, we make huge leaps in our learning and through experience you learn that mistakes are actually positive things, not negative.

Instead of fearing mistakes, we should embrace them, ruminate in them and figure out possible solutions. I express that as a plural, because there’s normally never just one solution. There’s usually multiple.

It is key that you write down the mistake, what you learned from it and finally the possible solutions to correct the mistake in the future.

That’s why in the classes I teach, I encourage the students to provide their own suggestions and notes to their fellow students. It requires them to actively listen, process and trouble-shoot a possible solution. This helps them to become more knowledgeable as a comedy writer or comedian, in a faster time period.

When you teach you learn twice.

This type of fear of mistakes can paralyze us in so many ways. It creates a circle of repeated mistakes that cripple growth, stifle productivity and increase stress.

I have a friend. We get together once in awhile to write, go shopping or grab a bite.

She has this fear of mistakes and I see it constantly and repeatedly paralyze her productivity and infuse more stress into her life.

Now the following conversation may seem tedious, but I think it is essential so that you can really get the idea and maybe—just maybe—see similarities in your own behaviors.

About 6 months ago my friend called me and said, “Hey, let’s get together later and go shopping at the mall.”

I said, “What time?”
She said, “Oh late afternoon sometime. I have a lot to get done first.”
I said, “You should set some goals as to exactly what you need to get done and apply a time to it. When that timer is done get up and move on to the next–”
She interrupted, “—Yeah, yeah. I know. That’s a good idea.”
I said, “Okay. Just let me know when?”

At 5 o’clock we planned to get together to shop at the mall, eat and hang out. Since she’s always late, we wound up connecting at the mall at 5:30.
She was hungry, so we grabbed a bite to eat. Then it was time to shop!
As we started to hit the stores, we noticed that they were all starting to close.
She started stressing, “Why are they closing?!”
“Well, it’s Sunday. Most malls close early on Sundays.”

It was a mistake not to set your goals and not plan out the day… I’ve explained the acknowledge mistakes lesson to her that I learned from my father. I hoped that she would start to apply them… she struggles with that.

6 months later…

My friend texts me. Again, it was a Sunday morning.

“Hey, l’ve got to go back home for about a week. Wanna meet at the mall and go shopping?”
“Sure. What time?”

“I don’t know. Late afternoon. I’ve got a lot to get done first…”

I sighed…

Then 30 minutes later the text came in: “Hey, it’s Sunday. Let’s do early afternoon. In fact, I’ll meet you at three! The malls close early don’t they?”

Finally!

Now I just hope she shows up on time!

If you fear mistakes now—no matter what the level of your fear—by doing the above approach of acknowledging, processing and solving, you will eventually lose that fear.

At some point, that fear of mistakes becomes just a shrug, and you look forward to processing it, learning from it and solving it. Because, now you will realize how much time or money you saved, how your business or relationship improved and how above all you transformed in some way and became a better person in life… or at least a better person to go shopping with.

You learn so much from acknowledging your mistakes, rather than being afraid of mistakes.

In my experience, I realized that when I made mistake and acknowledged it, I wasn’t a laughing stock of the world and it didn’t make me eternally miserable.

Instead, it enabled me to eternally grow.

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Got Haters? Stay True, Practice and Turn it Into Opportunity

bullying in school

I have a student who emailed me recently about people hating on him.

He’s a little awkward on stage. He’s working on it, but he comes across as the guy next door or maybe the ‘creepy’ guy next door.

I see a lot of promise in him. He reminds me of Comedian George Miller; Miller was awkward, always wore sweaters. Made 56 appearances on Late Night with David Letterman.

comedian george miller

My student lives in a small town in Canada, doesn’t have a lot of friends, but works hard on his writing. Problem is, when you live in a small town, it’s hard to get stage time.

But he keeps at it.

He’s got a lot of the locals including the local club owner who constantly berate him. They put him down, they tease, they pick.

He said, “Jerry, you’ve got to help me. I just have these guys totally hating on me all the time. What do I do?”

Stay true. Keep working. Keep practicing. Beat them to the punch.

The Bullies Made me Do It!

I despise bullies. I was bullied as a kid. I remember one of the bullies getting me in a headlock on the school bus in New York and just punching away at my head while other students just sat there watching. (Maybe that explains why I’m so weird!).

That wasn’t the only time I was bullied, but that’s the one that really stands out, because one of the people standing there watching was my older brother.

We were raised in a loving compassionate family. Not a fighting family. We didn’t know how to fight. So I don’t blame my brother. He didn’t have a skill set to know how to deal with that situation.

I can zero back on that moment on the bus with laser beam focus. That’s why I despise bullies.

But…

I often wonder if I would’ve ever become a comedian if it wasn’t for those bullying moments. I often think that’s why learned to joke and to beat the jerks to the punch with humor.

It’s Impossible to Dislike Someone Who Makes You Laugh

There’s an old saying, “It’s impossible to dislike someone who makes you laugh.”

By the 8th grade, I was getting funny. I learned from another kid in my class, Andrew Madejczyk. (pronounced Majezick).

Andy was fast on the draw. He mostly did wordplay stuff but was always getting laughs in class.

I realized that I was usually thinking the same thing he was, but I just didn’t say it out loud.

I always thought it was so funny that a word that was intended to mean one thing could so easily mean another thing.

That’s when I understood the 9th Laughter Trigger; coincidence. We laugh at coincidence. We love it!

I realized that nobody was getting Andy in headlocks and punching him on the bus… well, mostly because he didn’t take the bus, but he wasn’t really ever bullied.

Probably because he was always making them laugh.

I thought, I need to get funnier before someone headlocks me again.

My parents had a lot of comedy albums at home. George Carlin, Richard Pryor, mostly. My neighbors had Bill Cosby. Their parents didn’t let them listen to Carlin and Pryor because they weren’t appropriate and Bill Cosby was.

–Who’s appropriate now, bitches?!

I memorized George Carlin albums. I realized that when Carlin repeated slogans from commercials that people identified with, the audience laughed.

That’s the 3rd laughter trigger; recognition.

I was beginning to understand. Now if I can only use it to get a laugh…

“Hey Jerry! What’s the Story?”

I used to get teased at school just because of my name. There was a commercial that ran on the local TV stations. It was for an appliance club store called JGE Appliances.

The commercial would feature this blue collar type guy standing in front of a wall with a sign that simply said “JGE.” He was wearing a t-shirt, jeans and a hard hat.

Someone from offstage would shout, “Hey Jerry. What’s the story?”

Then in a Brooklyn accent, the hard hat guy would say, “The story is you come to JGE with the right make or model unit number you wanna buy. Show your union or civil service card at the door and you’re in, because JGE is not open to the general public. Only Union members and their families.”

Offstage Voice: “So that’s the story?”

Then he would shout: “That’s the stoooorryyyy!” He’d lean back with his arms wide and his t-shirt would rise up revealing his bare stomach.

That was the commercial.

Nobody Can Make you Feel Inferior Unless You Give Them Permission

The thing is; my name is Jerry.

At least 3 or 4 times a day, people at school would shout out, “Hey Jerry! What’s the story?”

I used to really annoy me. I hated it! It would make me feel stupid and awkward, especially when people would laugh. I felt like they were laughing at me.

My Mother said to me, “Nobody can make you feel inferior unless you give them permission.”

What could I do that wouldn’t make me feel inferior?

I did what Carlin did. I memorized the commercial. I thought if they laugh when Carlin repeats a commercials slogan, maybe they’ll laugh when I repeat the commercial too.

I practiced the commercial at home made sure I had it down. I went back to school the next day and while walking in the hall someone yelled, “Hey Jerry, what’s the story?”

In my best Brooklyn accent, I let it rip. I said, “The story is you come to JGE with the right Make or Model unit number you wanna buy, show your union or civil service card at the door and you’re in! Cuz’ JGE is not open to the general public, only to union members and their families…”

I waited.

Several people shouted in a sorry demonstration of unison: “So that’s the story?”

I said, ‘Dat’s the stooooorryyyy!!!” I raised up my shirt and showed my belly.

It got huge laughs… and you know what?

It no longer bothered me that people shouted “Hey Jerry, what’s the story?!”

I looked forward to it and I haven’t had my head in a headlock ever since.

There are always going to be haters…

Stay true, keep writing, keep practicing and beat them to the punch.

The Perfect Opportunity

east side comedy

My family moved out of New York when I was 13. Years later I went back to get into stand-up. The first club I auditioned at was East Side Comedy in Huntington, Long Island.

The club owner, Richie Minervini, was also the emcee. He said to me, “What do you want me to say about you?”

I said, “Just say, ‘This next guy is from California and his name is Jerry.'”

He said, “That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

Minervini brought me up. “This next guy is from California. His name is Jerry.”

I took the mic and said, “My name is Jerry.”

Some guy in the crowd said, “Hey Jerry! What’s the story?”

The crowd laughed.

I did my thing… they laughed again…

… and for the rest of the night.

Thank you, bullies!

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911 For Your Jokes – 5 Killer Strategies to Write Comedy from a Single Subject

five-killer comedy writing strategies

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Where to Start

So you want to write comedy about an idea you have but you don’t know how to get to the funny stuff.

Or you might even be asking where do I even start?
Has this ever happened to you?

Below you’ll find several ways to approach a single word or simple subject and be able to write comedy about it.

Most people create jokes by coincidence; we all do this, but relying only on coincidence can leave a comedy writer stranded, waiting for the coincidence to occur.

This sometimes leaves us without writing new comedy material for days, sometimes weeks… eeek!

So now for those of us who have a just a thought, a word or a simple subject we can now apply a couple of relatively easy applications and really start to write comedy.

In this article I’m going to show you 5 Ways to Write Comedy from simple words and subjects.

All of these approaches are proven approaches I’ve used to come up with material for my act or shows I’ve written for. These techniques work for dialogue, sketches, jokes or just inspiration which has led to new ideas.

Most really good comedy has a clear association or crisp surprise.  Other comedy contains irony, paradox, coincidence, retaliation, etc.

You can get all 13 comedy structures by grabbing my eBook “Breaking Comedy’s DNA.”

Let’s Write Comedy!

So,  let’s get to it…

In the Comedy Clinic’s private Facebook group (set up for those who attend my 8-week stand-up classes), there was a comment from one of my students who’s brand new to comedy.

She’s a flight attendant and was trying to utilize the listing technique, a method used to flesh out concepts to develop comedy material.

One of the things I love about teaching is learning from students and what they need help with. When that happens, I figure if they are asking these questions, maybe others are too. So I put together some further instruction to share with other students of comedy.

The listing technique is one way to create jokes based on a single subject, (you can see it in action in this video).

The object is to start with that single subject and then find a secondary element by using a variety of methods.

The goal is to find the funny in the subject matter.

These are NOT the ONLY methods, but these are very effective and the most widely used by the most successful comedy writers.

It’s important to remember that this is a FIRST DRAFT exercise and the resulting ideas and or material may or may not be the finished product.

Sometimes the exercises lead to solid jokes, sometimes they are a gateway to inspiration to help the writer create sketches, or even show or movie concepts, but aren’t quite in the shape they need to be in for a stand-up performance… yet.

As most of you already know, when you write comedy the first draft is its infancy. Then you rewrite. When you get it on the stage the material is still in its adolescence.

When you perform it for an audience there are usually some additional adjustments that get made as new inspirations occur while you’re on the stage as the material begins to mature.

The purpose is to create a process for yourself so you can start with a subject and come up with material. Don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t happen for you right away. That’s not creative! 🙂

So let’s get to it!

Start with a Subject:

  1. Flight Attendant.

Now let’s look at the 5 different approaches to take the simple subject of ‘Flight Attendant’ and develop the comedy.

NOTE: Steps 1-5 Below are separate strategies. This is not a combined strategy. Although you could use them all to really drill down and flesh out a comedy bit.

  1. Create an Analogy.

Being a flight attendant is like… find something (usually unrelated to being a flight attendant) with which to draw the analogy. Now you have two clearly different ideas converging, (Incongruity).

What if we chose “Waitress” Being a flight attendant is like being a waitress.
You might come up with something like this set up, punchline, act-out combination:

I’m a flight attendant. I hate when passengers treat you like you’re a waitress. The difference is that a flight attendant is flying at 38-thousand feet and if the shit hits the fan, we’ve got to be there to assist the passengers… even at our own peril. First of all, flight attendants are NOT waitresses. I’ve been a waitress at a few different restaurants,  and I’ve never had to explain to a customer where all the exits are located before they start on their meal.

  1. So that’s why I don’t like passengers who treat me like a waitress. “Treat me like a waitress, I’ll act like a waitress… like if the shit hits the fan and this flying germ tube catches on fire, if I was a waitress, I’m not gonna assist your ass at my own peril. I’ll be the first out that door! (ACT-OUT: Yelling back to them) “There are four emergency exits, but I’m not showing them to you, cuz I’m a waitress! Enjoy your peanuts, bitches!”
  2. IDEA: The flight attendant safety briefing is like a waitress telling her table what the specials are that evening. (You could develop a routine here using similar signals a flight attendant uses when giving her safety briefing, as you describe the chef’s specials).

Remember: We started with nothing at the beginning of this exercise. But by simply applying analogy, we have a bit…

  1. Add a Descriptor to the Subject

    of “flight attendant.”
    Ask yourself what kind of flight attendant? What if you added a descriptor that also defines one of your personal weaknesses?

    1. Lazy?
    2. Procrastinator?
    3. Selfish?
    4. Anger management issues?
    5. Passive-Aggressive?
    6. Amorous?
    7. Hormonal? Anytime you ask the flight attendant a question, she responds with (ACT OUT: BIG SIGH) “WHATEVER!”
      1. Once you have that in place you can use the incongruity technique to run a Top 10 List. “Top 10 Reasons You Know Your Flight Attendant is Hormonal.”

(Remember, the Top 10 exercise is used to generate punchlines, not for you to read off a list. That was Letterman’s bag).

  1. Facts about flight attendants.

    You can come up with your own, then look up stuff on the internet. On quick glance, I came up with this:

    1. Flight attendants have strict luggage restrictions imposed on them by some airlines. One carry-on bag and a personal bag. It’s a safety issue. This way it’s impossible for any flight attendants to ever bring ALL their baggage. Think about it! On a typical flight for Southwest, there are 3 flight attendants. That’s a LOT of Daddy issues!
    2. Flight attendants don’t age-out. Pilots are federally mandated to retire at age 65. Flight attendants don’t have to. So at Southwest Airlines, Bags may fly free, but Old Bags fly forever.
  2. Definition of a Flight Attendant.

    Definitions give you a great chance to do a Compare and Contrast riff.

    1. What’s different about being a Southwest Flight attendant than being a flight attendant at one of the other airlines?
  3. Cliché Reformation or Take-off… and Simple Truth.

    1. There are a lot of phrases used on an airline that create an opportunity to be reformed with an unexpected ending for a quick laugh.
      1. “In the case of a darkened or smoke-filled cabin, safety strips on the floor will be illuminated, leading you right to the cockpit door where you can get your hands on the captain who got us into this mess in the first place.”
      2. *Do not unfasten your seatbelt until the plane comes to a full and complete stop. Why do they say full AND complete? Wouldn’t “full” stop or “complete” stop make it clear enough?
      3. And what’s so special about the smoke detector in the lavatory? There’s a special law that protects it; “Federal Regulations prohibit the tampering with or destroying a lavatory smoke detector.” It’s like they’re doing a little ‘wink-wink.’ You can fuck with the flight attendants all you want, but if you even tamper with that smoke detector, the feds will drag you to prison!

Hope this helps! And…

Remember, I am here for YOUR comfort and safety.

Hope this pre-flight instruction was helpful in your endeavor to write comedy. If you need more assistance, you’ll find a Joke Doctor button illuminated on the console above your head. Feel free to press that button and a Joke Doctor will help you as soon as it is safely possible, but if I come to your seat only to find that you’re phone is NOT in airplane mode, I’m gonna tell the feds that you tampered with a smoke detector.

Want a PDF download sent to your email that you can print and use as a reference?  Grab it here!

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200,005 Reasons to Write for Late Night TV

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I get emails and comments all the time from people asking if they should pursue an opportunity to write for Late Night TV.

I always answer with a resounding “Yes!” and I have solid reasoning to back it up.

In fact I have 200,005 reasons you should pursue a job to write for Late Night TV.

But before we go there, let’s back up for a moment and look at the traditional method people use to prepare for a career.

The Career Path of the College Grad

Most people go to college for 4-5 years, get the skill set they need to work in the career of their choice.

If it’s a specialty like doctor or lawyer, they put in an extra few years of law school or med school followed by internship and/or residency.

Now I wholeheartedly believe that education is by far the best investment one can make in one’s future.

Every single time I invested in learning a new skill set, my resulting revenue skyrocketed.

Some people tell me that paying to learn comedy writing is too expensive.

I don’t get it.

My sons are in college, just finishing up. One university costs $30,000 annually. The other one $12,000 annually.

That’s quite an investment!

According to Forbes, when they graduate they are looking at an average starting salary of $42,000 a year.

And that’s IF they land a job in their specialty.

It doesn’t take an MIT graduate to realize it’s gonna take a while to make a profit on that investment.

To make matters worse, you’re already 4-5 years in on your investment.

Which leads me to…

200,005 reasons to write for Late Night TV:

REASON 1 thru 200,000
According to the Writer’s Guild of America, the starting salary for a writer in Late Night is $4,000 per week. Most of these shows are yearly. And even if you took 10-12 weeks off per year, that’s over $200,000 a year!

That’s base starting pay!

If you write a 2-minute sketch and that gets on the air, you earn another 3,875.00 for that sketch…
… and if you write a song parody, you get ASCAP fees.

Not bad, but that’s not all…

REASON #200,001
Writing for Late Night TV is still one of the only jobs in the industry where you can get hired without experience and without a resume! You just have to show that you can write funny. That’s how I got my job writing for the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and how a lot of guys I know got their jobs.

REASON #200,002
The cost of the investment in the education to get the skills for Late Night TV writing is microscopic compared to traditional career preparation. I learned the skill set by studying with some of the top writers in the business. They showed me the process to write jokes and I turned it into several processes that ensured that I could sit down and produce 80-120 jokes from scratch every single day. Even on the days where I wasn’t “feelin’ it.”

REASON #200,003
Access to this education used to only be available in L.A. or New York. Until now.
I’ve put together a 10-part online video course that will get you cranking out Late Night jokes like a machine.

It’s a systematic process that takes the guessing out of joke writing and helps you surpass the competition. So now, wherever you are, you can develop the skillset to write for Late Night TV you have no excuse not to dive in, get the skills and start submitting for a Late Night Writing job.

REASON #200,004
One thing they don’t teach you in college is the secret behind getting the job in your career, but I will walk you through the simple secret of how to submit and how to find the right person to submit to and how to find out specifically what a particular show looks for in a submission packet.

REASON #200,005
For a limited time I’m launching this course and making it available to you at a 66 percent off the regular price. And when I say a limited time, I mean like 5 days limited! The Late Night TV Comedy Writing and Submission Course Online will never be available at this price again.

So there are your 200,005 reasons you should pursue a job to write for Late Night TV.

Go get the course. Go get the job!

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