How to Keep an Emcee’s Horrible Introduction from Tanking your Show

When you get a horrible introduction from the Emcee, what do you next could mean the difference between a great show and a nightmare gig.

In this article, I’ll give you a sure-fire technique to keep an Emcee’s horrible introduction from tanking your show.

Flaws of the Emcee

There are a ton of ways an emcee can ruin the introduction for a comedian. They can bomb a joke then immediately bring you up. They can create an incident with someone in the audience and bring you up on a sour note. They can screw up your name or screw up your intro.

They can do a backwards intro. A backwards intro is where they mention your name first and the audience doesn’t feel the impulse to applaud…

It could go like, “Jerry Corley is a comedian from California. He’s here to entertain us tonight and make us laugh and boy do we need a laugh after they just announced all those layoffs. Here he is…” and they just leave it like that and hand you the mic.

Now you walk on to jaded applause with an audience whose enthusiasm is worse than an inmate who’s just been denied parole, you know?

What to Do?

So what do you do when you get a horrible introduction from the emcee?

I’ve been doing stand-up for 27 years and I’ve played almost every situation imaginable. I’ve played crowds from 4 people to 40,000, (opening for a huge country band). I’ve had some great introductions and some horrible introductions and I’ve learned how important they can be (if they’re framed right) and how inconsequential they can be (if you play it right).

Horrible intros often occur when doing corporate events. The people introducing you are not professionals and situations can easily get awkward.

But I’ll take that any day, because you can make a lot of money doing corporate gigs. In fact, you can make more money at one corporate gig than spending three weeks in comedy clubs!

It’s your job to stay funny

First and foremost, you have to remember that you’re a comedian. It’s your job to stay funny in spite of the situation. They came to watch a comedian who can make fun of stuff, not some twat who gets offended because someone didn’t intro them professionally.

I usually deal with a horrible introduction by talking about it. The other night I did a private holiday event for a condo services organization. The event was in like the happy-hour/bar area of the Marriot Renaissance. You know the kind of place where they advertise to their guests that if you get there between 5-7pm you can get “$5 drinks and light snacks?”

It wasn’t best venue or setting for comedy. The ceilings were high, the crowd was spread out all over the place, there was no stage, the lighting was awful and because the ceilings were high, the sound bounced all over the place, filling the room with an echo, which made it difficult for people to hear anything I was saying–especially for the people in the back and to the sides of the room.

And if people have to really work to hear your words, they’ll stop trying and just start talking. Of course their voices will now fill the echo chamber and now you’re trying to talk over their talking.

The good news was that the show started at 5pm, so if the show didn’t go well I could still get the “$5 drinks and light snacks!”

The emcee greeted everyone. She was polite and professional, but just before she brought me on, she read a letter to the audience that a member of the board of directors wrote for this group… Now a letter is meant to be read, not spoken and the letter was 5 pages long!

Every time the emcee went to read the next page, she fumbled with the mic and the pages, creating this awkward gap of silence, that the audience seemed to use to reengage in their conversations.

When people are told that a part of their evening’s entertainment is going to be a comedian, they are not expecting someone reading a 5-page dissertation.

That’s like going to a strip club and before the stripper comes out, the DJ says something like, “Gentlemen, before Mercedes starts peeling off that sexy lingerie, she’s gonna read about 5 minutes of some Haiku she’s written! So get your dollars out and get ready to tip her on her immaculate 5-7-5 structure!”

She could read the most brilliant Haiku in history, but that’s just not what the audience showed up for.

So after she’s done reading this thing, she brings me up to an audience who is now about as excited as someone who just got their assignment for jury duty.

Turn the Dilemma into Comedy

So I decided that I’m just gonna have fun with this moment.

She gave me the mic and I said, “Thanks so much. How about a hand for Kimberly, ladies and gentlemen. Doesn’t she do an incredible job? Boy that’s gotta be tough, but you handled it with such grace, Kim.

First, the boss telling you he’s not gonna be here, then saying he wants YOU to get up in front of the audience and read his letter. The only thing that would’ve made that letter less appealing is if he ended it with “…and by the way, starting on the 1st of January, your homeowner’s association fees are going up a hundred bucks! Happy Holidays!”

Dealing with the audience on the spot with something that just happened, let’s them know that you are with them, in this moment, not just going up there to recite your act.

The audience laughed at that opening and, moving forward, every time they didn’t laugh, I looked at them and said, “Hey you know, I can always have Kim come back up here and read that letter again!” The audience enjoyed the fact that I handled the awkwardness of the moment with humor and that I maintained a playful approach.

I don’t always recommend that you deal with a situation like that the way I did. Audiences at a corporate type function like this one can be very tribal. They know the person you are making jokes about more than you do and they can get defensive and turn on you fast.

So I sometimes will just refer to another event I did where the intro was “REALLY AWKWARD.” Sort of comparing it the one they just experienced.

It might go something like this…

After she’s done reading the letter and then introducing me, I might say, “Thanks so much!” How about a hand for Kim, ladies and gentlemen. Doesn’t she do a great job. As a comedian I’ve got to say it’s tough to follow a 5-page letter, but it’s not the most awkward thing I’ve had to follow…

…I once did an event for the Montana State Assembly and just before they brought me up on stage the emcee said, “Can I have your attention please? We’ve come to the entertainment part of our evening, but before we do that, I would like us all to have a moment of silence. As you know, less than a month ago, Assemblyman Kyle Nance was killed in a fiery crash on I-90. He leaves behind a wife and 3 kids…”

Keep in mind, I’m standing right there, waiting to take the mic!

They all bowed their heads for what must’ve been the most awkward 60 seconds ever!

I actually heard sniffles in the audience!

… then I hear, “and now for your comedian…”

And she hands me the mic.”

The audience at the Marriot Renaissance, was able to laugh at that difficult situation I was faced with and by stating a situation that was much more drastic than the one they were just faced with, they felt like they were off the hook.

It enabled me to tap into the laughter triggers of recognition, embarrassment, superiority and release. Knowing this gave me tremendous confidence that the audience would laugh with me.

So next time you’re faced with a horrible introduction from the emcee, just remember: don’t blame them, and always stay funny!

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25 Ways to Make Money with Your Comedy

25 Ways to make money with comedy

Every now and then you see an article on stand-up comedy and how much money comedians make–or rather don’t make.

Then there’s this article from the New York Times which portrays a not so dismal outlook for comedians.

What are we to believe?

I can only give information on what I’ve experienced as a comedian and a writer. Bottom line is that once you can write and perform comedy and you’re able to work clean, you can make a very decent living.

The problem is that most comedians (especially the new ones) see comedy through a very small lens and they don’t look at ALL the opportunities that are available to them.

Most don’t even know these avenues of revenue exist.

When I started out as a comedian I wanted to learn all I could about the business. And watching my father go through his ups and downs financially as an actor, I looked at comedy, not as frivolity, but as a business. Once I did that, I saw all the possibilities and I focused on the ones that would give me the best return.

So I put together a quick list called 25 Ways to Make Money with Your Comedy.

All of the concepts are viable and most of them I’ve actually utilized with varying levels of success.

But this is a quick list to give you an insight and help motivate you to get good at comedy so you can start to make money doing what you love.

Keep in mind the money varies. I just put down what I have earned in my experience from these events.

  1. Stand-up. Perform in Comedy Clubs or One-niters on the road.
  2. Do college comedy shows (Pay $800-$3500 per show)
  3. Work Cruise Ships ($1500-$4000 per week)
  4. Perform at Corporate Gigs ($400-$5000+ per gig)
  5. Do Comedy shows as Fundraisers for non-profits or schools ($600-$2500 per event)
  6. Work as a T.V. Audience Warm-up Comedian ($1500-$2000 per gig)
  7. Emcee Events in Vegas ($1000-$5000 per week)
  8. Host Trade Shows in Vegas and other cities
  9. Become a Radio D.J.
  10. Write for Late Night TV or Variety Talk Shows ($4187 per week min. ((network))
  11. Write Humorous Greeting Cards ($ varies)
  12. Write Humorous T-Shirts or other gifts
  13. Write fluff pieces for magazines or internet sites
  14. Be a commercial copywriter in advertising with a humorous twist. (Some of the most memorable commercial campaigns are humorous spots (Progressive Insurance, Geico, Discover Card, DIRECTV)
  15. Write Joke Books
  16. Do a comedy spot on T.V. (Comedy Central, Late Night TV, Netflix, Showtime Special)
  17. Write a humorous blog or podcast, build a following sell advertising or get a sponsor
  18. Have a humorous YouTube Channel. Develop a following. Sell Advertising or Merch
  19. Go on tour and open for a band on the road. ($3500-$10,000 per week)
  20. Write humorous speeches or jokes for politicians, CEOs, corporate presenters. ($500+- per page)
  21. Punch-up comedy scripts
  22. Punch-up or write sitcoms
  23. Punch-up or write copy for Animated explainers.
  24. Write comedy movies (I wrote “Stretch”) which reached Critically acclaimed on Netflix. Still receiving residuals
  25. Create a humorous Theme based assembly show for schools, (ie: Prevent bullying) ($1500-$2500 per assembly)

So there you go. 25 ways to make money with your comedy.

The purpose of this post is to give you an idea of all the ways you can create revenue streams if you get good at your comedy.

If you’re thinking about a career in comedy you can drop in and take one of my upcoming stand-up classes.

Or if you are already working professionally and want to learn how each of these revenue streams really operates you can stream my course called “How to be the Richest Comedian Nobody’s Ever Heard Of.” Which is a blueprint for how I was making a $250,000/yr. in comedy without being a household name and without an agent.

In the meantime, use the list to motivate yourself and open your eyes to the cool ways you can make a living in this awesome business.

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Revenge may be Best Cold, but Success is Best Always.

Joe Dungan - Winner, Clean Comedy Challenge 2017

One of the biggest joys of running the Comedy Clinic and imparting what I’ve learned through these many years in comedy is when one of my students has a success moment. It’s rewarding in so many ways.

First off, it’s just totally cool to see one of your students succeed… just that. I remember when I was in that same position and I remember the feeling of winning something or succeeding at something in comedy. That sense of accomplishment is sublime and when one of your students achieves success, it’s like having that feeling all over again.

Joe Dungan, one of my hardest working students and one of my master teachers just won The Clean Comedy Challenge 2017 at the Ice House in Pasadena, CA!

Joe competed against a litany of other comedians. And he must’ve done great because at the end of the performances one of the other comedians said to him, “Get ready to collect your prize money,” implying that it was clear who won the Clean Comedy Challenge.

So how did Joe do it?

As many of you know, it can be a challenge to come up with clean comedy that pops. The primary way to make it work is with tightly structured material so that there’s clear, crisp surprise.

The primary way to make it work is with tightly structured material so that there’s clear, crisp surprise.

Joe’s opening line gets them laughing right away “My name is Joe ‘Successful Career’ Dungan, but you can call me Joe Dungan because the ‘Successful Career’ is silent.”

This line accomplishes two things. It self-deprecates, presenting Joe’s dilemma, while using the superiority concept in comedy, instantly letting the audience know that Joe doesn’t take himself too seriously. It also gives us surprise and incongruity because Joe juxtaposes the words “successful career” with a letter that might be silent in a person’s name.

But the structure of that joke is tight. It’s a great opening joke and has the audience on Joe’s side right out of the gate.

Lorne Michaels, the genius behind the success of Saturday Night Live, says that an audience has to be confident in the comedian on stage and there’s nothing better than a well-structured joke right out of the gate to immediately inject a large dose of confidence into that audience.

And that’s the primary focus of the curriculum at the Comedy Clinic. I want you to learn the science and structure of comedy so I empower you with the tools to write comedy that is designed to get laughs by helping you learn the proven structures of comedy and the science behind why people laugh.

I encourage my students to be able to write clean material. You don’t have to do clean material if it’s not your persona, but you should be able to. This way you don’t have to simply rely on shock value to get a laugh.

When you learn to be able to work clean you can work anywhere. It makes you more versatile as a comedian and makes you more likely to succeed as a comedy writer or performer.

Let’s face it, one of the quickest ways to get on the map in comedy is to appear on television and whether it’s Kimmel, Conan, Fallon, Colbert, Meyers or Corden, your material needs to be able to fit in the parameters of that show’s requirements and although many of the shows are showing much more flexibility, you’re still required to be ‘clean.’

Once you have a few appearances on network TV, you are more likely to be able to book higher paid corporate work, get a solid agent and begin developing your professional career even further.

A national TV credit almost instantly thrusts you into the headlining position in most clubs around the country and gives agents a reason to represent you.

But if you’re not able to work clean, the network TV gigs will continue to be off-limits to you as a performer.

If you are able to work clean, almost nothing can stop you.

So congratulations Joe Dungan! Get that video and start getting it out to the talent coordinators booking the Late Night shows on TV.

And to those of you reading this, start learning to write and perform clean. Remember you don’t have to be a clean comedian, but you create exponentially more opportunity if you are able to.

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I’m Funny around my Friends, but…

Funny around friends, but
Are you funny around your friends? Do you make your friends laugh in everyday situations, but then you try to put it on the page and it just doesn’t sound like you or the idea that you thought was funny is no longer funny?

It’s like your natural ability to be funny is being killed by the writing.

This is a common complaint with people and there are a lot of things that are going on that cause that to happen.

In this post, I’m going to discuss the main reason as to why we’re funny in person and it gets lost on the page and what you can do to keep your natural funny growing while learning to develop the funny in your writing.

If you’re one of those people who’s naturally funny in the moment with your friends, you should understand that the way you developed that (most likely) is through exposure. I’ve yet to meet a so-called naturally funny person who wasn’t exposed to comedy at a younger age.

My writing partner, Rob Rose, is probably the fastest, funniest guy I’ve ever worked with. He’s so quick when we’re at parties or social gatherings I just stand back and let him do his thing. But Rob wasn’t “born” with this. Rob used to hide in his room (because of an abusive step-father) and watch comedy shows. He watched all the greats. Their structure and timing were immaculate. Because of his constant exposure, he began to repeat jokes and use some stuff in his own dialogue. Eventually, he started to recognize the patterns that created the laugh. By coincidence, in conversation, he would recognize more opportunities to use those patterns with his own words.

When I met Rob he was already a funny guy. He was part of a 2-man comedy team that just messed around at an open mic in Sacramento.

A couple of years later, he started going on the road with me as a solo act. His first night on stage, he bombed… horribly. What do I mean by that? He was only able to do about a minute and a half. He was supposed to do thirty!

He thought that just because he was such a funny guy, he could go up on stage and wing it. But being funny in person doesn’t always equate to being funny within a certain time frame on stage and on cue.

In stand-up comedy, you have to get them early and you’re expected to get a laugh every 18-20 seconds (minimum), on average. Rob didn’t get a laugh in the first 90 seconds… started sweating said, “Good night!” and ran off the stage.

We had a contract to provide a 90-minute show. So I had to go up and do 90-minutes. Lol!

Looking back on it, Rob laughs about that night. It’s still embarrassing, but he laughs about it.

After that night Rob and I spent the entire next day going over his act. I turned on a video camera, (It was one of those camcorders that had the VHS tape in it), and had Rob come into the room like it was a stage and do his act, by reading it off the page.

Every time he messed it up, he would go back out of the room and we’d start the tape over. He would come back and start his set like he was actually starting his act.

Yep, just like two grown-ass men playing pretend!

Eventually, Rob got it. We took the tape and put it in Rob’s VCR player in his hotel room.

He listened to it over and over.

He’s so good in the moment and on the fly that I said, “If you ever feel stuck, just go to your strength,” (being in the moment).

That night Rob crushed it so hard that people were asking for his autograph after the show.

The key is, we played to his strength which is being in the moment.

Before I forget, one crucial point: We went over Rob’s act orally, then I wrote down every joke/story. The reason I wrote it down was because when Rob actually wrote his jokes, he had a tendency to “overwrite” them. He would overwrite them to the point where they were no longer funny.

Rob eventually fixed that. But only through a lot of practice writing jokes and writing dialogue.

Comedy has a certain structure. Rob spent his childhood learning that structure orally to that structure and it worked when he was in the moment.

In essence, when Rob was learning orally, he was using different regions of the brain to access his funny mechanism. But that’s not all…

Throughout our entire school careers, when we are taught to write, we are brainwashed (in a sense) to write in prose. We’re taught creative writing, but usually with a focus on using correct grammar, punctuation, etc. And it’s usually dull when read aloud.

Try this take even an exciting book of fiction and try reading it aloud. It will “sound” like a book.

Stand-up, on the other hand, is a conversation, (usually one-sided). We’re expected to be present like we would be at a party with our friends.

Problem is we’ve spent years learning to write NOT the way we speak. We speak in broken sentences, in slang, with contractions, etc.

It’s amazing to watch someone who’s developing their skill at writing. They could crack a great joke right in front of you. And the moment you ask them to write it down, they fall back on their learning of writing in school, trying to use correct punctuation, grammar, etc., and they over write the joke.

That can kill the joke.

It’s not just common in stand-up, but also in script writing. It’s hard to find someone who can write great dialogue. Why? Because dialogue is

Why? Because dialogue is conversation.

There are many different ways to correct this. It takes time to learn how to write the way you talk. Too many to cover in this blog post.

However, you can start by learning to record your jokes with your friends. By first recognizing that they’re laughing at what you’re saying, then getting it on the recorder on your iPhone or Android device. Then transcribing the joke exactly as you said it without falling back into your grade school lessons and writing the way you were taught, but writing the way you speak.

If you practice this often, you will soon learn to write the way you talk.

Another way to do it is to write your jokes like you’re writing a Facebook post, a text or an email. When we’re doing that we have a tendency to write like we’re talking to a specific person.

If  you’re funny in person, but lose the funny when you put it on the page, focus on your strength of being funny in the moment with your friends.

Practice your joke writing during the day but when you hit the stage focus on your strength

Eventually, your writing will match your personality.

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The First Key to Success no Matter What Your Specialty

First Key to Success Jerry Corley

I see it time and time again, people who have amazing possibilities and opportunities, but don’t seem to capitalize on them and succeed.

Are you one of those people? Do you feel like you’re not moving forward or succeeding the way you want or with the speed with which you want?

There may be a way to help you start to change that trajectory with one adjustment in the way you approach life and your own decision making. In other words, by changing the way you think.

Clear Negative Thoughts

Many of us create our own obstacles and our own failures just by the way we think. This type of behavior can have profound effects on the outcomes in our lives. It’s so powerful in fact, experts say that it can mean the difference between success and failure.

You might fit in this group if you have a tendency to do the following. Do you…

  • Blame outside forces for the negative things that happen to you?
  • Resist being open to mistakes by not listening or do you talk over people who are critical of you and offering advice?
  • Feel hurt and angry when people are critical of your work?
  • Always find excuses for situations or events when they don’t go your way?
  • Highlight the negative experiences about an event or endeavor?
  • Respond to the question “how’s your day?” with “Ugh!” “FML,” “Don’t even ask!” or something similar?

If you have a tendency to do any of these things then success might be more elusive to you than it needs to be.

Here’s the good news: YOU have the power to control it. You can change by understanding what is stopping you, then taking one single action to change it.

Keep in mind, it won’t happen overnight, but you can get started immediately.

Key point: negative thoughts and blaming outside elements for you not succeeding is a victim’s mentality and it will only cause you to continue to be a victim subjected to outside forces and everyone else’s thoughts and actions.

Not good.

First, you need to accept–I mean totally OWN the fact that MISTAKES are a successful person’s ASSETS and not owning and evaluating them keeps you from learning from those mistakes. Which only helps you to you repeat negative behaviors and keeps you from overcoming obstacles and moving closer to your goals.

Making the adjustment that you yourself are responsible for the choices you make that impact your destiny is absolutely paramount to your success.

I Am My Destiny

So many people struggle with this concept. One of the reasons is that the negative type of thinking is their comfort zone and it is where they reside on a day-to-day basis. It’s how they wake up. It’s how they live their day. According to experts, this is often due to upbringing, education or the people we choose to surround ourselves with.

It’s hard to break that habit because negative thoughts are not only present but subconsciously it’s comfortable for us to live in the negative because it was an ingrained part of our youth. Also consider that if birds of a feather flock together, you may be choosing, currently, to surround yourself with people who also think negatively and blame outside forces. This will only perpetuate the negativity that will serve to reinforce negative thought processes that drive you because it’s all you are hearing. So it sounds, “right.

Mix together that with the fact that changing that ingrained thought process requires you to move out of your comfort zone–which usually requires uncomfortable work on yourself.

You can see how people can take the path of least resistance and stay the way they are. Because moving outside your comfort zone is hard.

Sometimes, the people you surround yourself with in a support group or a mastermind can also perpetuate this failed thinking. They do so by assuring you that you don’t have control over your behaviors, that there’s a force greater than you that is responsible. This can have long-term negative impacts on your success.

This can have long-term negative impacts on your success.

There is a rush of freedom that comes with releasing responsibility to a greater power. That rush feels so good that it can’t be bad for you, right?

It can be crushing to your long-term success if you don’t also assume accountability for your behaviors by knowing, intrinsically, that you yourself are responsible for your choices.

Keep in mind that you’re certainly not alone in this type of behavior. The majority of people seem to have this tendency to think negatively. But knowing that you can consciously change this behavior by just deciding to do so creates a sublime power.

It’s similar to the goal-obstacle-take action plan I wrote about in a previous blog. It simply starts with a decision to change your locus of control from external forces to internal forces… or one that is fully YOU!

It is a decision that YOU push the buttons that not only steer the ship but give it the power to propel forward.

In other words, stop playing victim to life’s conditions and situations, and instead of reacting emotionally to them, take responsibility for them.

It’s owning control of your own destiny, not cowardly relinquishing the control to some unknown force that’s “greater than you.” I’m not arguing that there is a force greater than you out there that exists or not. That’s not important. What is important is that you KNOW that YOU exist. And that YOU have the scientifically proven ability to make changes in the way you think, behave and react that can flip your trajectory from one that seems to fail to one that more consistently succeeds.

This kind of teaching that you’re not responsible drives me crazy and is utterly senseless. Think about it this way: If you’re not responsible for your own failures then subconsciously your brain will tell you that you’re not responsible for your own successes.

And if you can’t be responsible for your own successes… then why take action at all? It’s cognitive dissonance that leads so many people to repeat their failures.

The core character condition one needs to develop is accountability.

Experts say that all great leaders have this one quality in common. That quality is a willingness not only to accept accountability but to race to it. To own the mistakes that occur not only within ourselves but within an organization. It’s the-buck-stops-here approach.

Well, who is the leader of your life but you? Self-leadership requires the same accountability, the same introspection.

Take Positive Steps Now

So start making choices to take accountability for your own destiny. By first making the decision to start your day positive.

And if it’s not a positive day, take responsibility for that. Think about why and what you could have done to make it more positive and more productive. Because today is tomorrow’s yesterday and if you take the time and make the decision to learn from those mistakes, the lessons learned can be applied to your tomorrow to make it better.

It’s a lot of responsibility knowing that you’re in charge of your own success, but it’s also extremely rewarding knowing that you have all the power you need to succeed.

I know a lot of this may sound like gobbledygook. But if you take a moment to consider it, I think you’ll discover that the gobbledegook has some value.

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